The Fun House

Being in emotional dysregulation is like being in a fun house, except you didn’t choose to go there and nobody is having fun.  Anything is possible in the fun house.  Your worst nightmare can become true at the snap of your fingers. I am not worthy of love. There is confusion in the fun house, what you see with your eyes does not make sense to your mind. Even though there are people around, I feel alone. Yes, there may be other people in the fun house, but they can’t help you; you can see them, but they’re just beyond reach.  The paths and methods they use, don’t work for you.  You try to follow them and BAM! You walk face first into your own reflection.  Rats! Another dead end.  You hate being alone.  The people are always on a different level and you’re stuck down below.  They moved onto the second floor and appear to be laughing at you.  This only makes you feel worse.  Doesn’t anyone care? You try to explain that it’s not your fault, you didn’t want to be there; this wasn’t a choice.  They show you video footage of you walking into the fun house on your own.  What? You have no memory of it.  Through no fault of your own, you are the victim, suspect and perpetrator of your own nightmare.  It is for this reason, that I must look inward when I am in emotional dysregulation, as I am the only one who has the power to unlock the door exiting the fun house. The key is my truth and the path beyond the locked door will lead me to enlightenment. I am worthy of love regardless of the mistakes I make.